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ByJon Mark Davis on Wednesday, November 30, 2022

The Busyness of an MK (Missionary Kid)

Jon Mark Davis By Jon Mark Davis on Wednesday, November 30, 2022

 

I love airports.

The hustle and bustle. People of every nationality streaming past me. The endless possibilities of flights to every corner of the world.

As an adult now, I can admit that in trying to get my family from one country to another, an airport can be a stressful place; endless lines, tight timelines, lost luggage, too much opportunity for things to go wrong.

But, as a Third-Culture Kid (TCK), and specifically a Missionary Kid (MK), the airport glitters like a yellow-brick road into the unknown, and it excites me, especially that hustle and bustle, that busyness of international travel.

A Busy Life

Airports are synonymous with the word “busy”. This word, busy, seems also to be the first word used by people to describe life where I now live, Southwestern Ontario. If you have a casual conversation with just about anyone older than 20, they describe life as busy. How is your family? How are things at work? How are things with your church? How was your summer, fall...year? The answer is almost always, “Busy!”.

Maybe that word is overused and misused, but let’s put it into the context of the life of a former MK. My life really is busy (forgive me if this sounds like bragging, but really, it is a cry for help!): I run a business and manage a family with four children who are into team sports, volunteering, youth groups, social gatherings, and family events. I serve at my church as an elder, small group leader, greeter, and mentor. I run outreach ministries for men including retreats, Bible studies, and even a pick-up hockey league (yup, I’m the guy on the ice who still can’t figure out how to stop…I blame it on growing up in a part of the world where ice didn’t exist except to get you sick in a beverage).

Life is busy ... but why? I can’t speak about your particular situation, but I can tell you about my situation: there are just so many things to do.

Good things.

Important things. 

MKs and Busyness

What does this have to do with my MK upbringing? As I was brainstorming my article idea with Paul Dyck, he touched on something significant, “It is definitely an MK trait ... wanting to give of our time, abilities, and resources to what we see, seeing the need for help that we have the ability to help with, and being overwhelmed with the volume of service opportunities.”

There are so many needs around me, and so many ‘good’ things to be involved in.

If not me, then who?

If I don’t help with these good things, who is going to?

MKs develop a lot of great skills and abilities such as leadership, adaptability, perseverance, and resilience. If there is a need, we have probably watched our parents or others step into filling that need, and we have learned many of the skills and abilities to do so as well. And, these opportunities can be enticing. Like an airport offers the opportunity to travel on an adventure to somewhere exotic, these opportunities offer the chance to experience something new and allow us to feel good about helping others. They can be enticing yellow-brick roads. 

It isn’t easy to find your place in the world as a TCK. You don’t always feel like your passport country is your home. Yet, that is where God has planted you, for now. You have skills and abilities that many around you don’t seem to have, and you often have an adventurous heart, ready to jump into new challenges and new experiences.

How do you figure out what God is specifically calling you to do when there are so many ‘good’ things that need someone to do them?

Is this busy life healthy?

Is this what God expects or demands of us?

We have skills and abilities, shouldn’t we put them to ‘good’ use? We all know the dangers of being too busy: emotional and mental burn-out; physical exhaustion; and strained relationships, especially with our spouses and kids.

“Good” Things vs. “God” Things

So, what is the coaching for an MK who sees needs that demand to be filled? I have begun, slowly, to unpack this and to start to understand the difference between ‘good’ things and ‘God’ things; those opportunities that would be good to do, versus those opportunities that God has specifically appointed and invited me into doing.

What’s the solution for busyness?

I don’t think there is a formula, but God certainly promises us wisdom. The first ingredient is to seek time with Him in prayer, and in His Word.

“Your hands made me and formed me; give me understanding to learn your commands (Psalm 119:73)

I have found for many Christians, they need to learn to say “yes” to more opportunities to serve others, but perhaps for MKs, it needs to be “no” until they have a very clear invitation from God.

  • We need to recognize that God doesn’t need us, but He does invite us into His plans.
  • We need to be aware that sometimes we might be getting in the way of someone else being invited in to serve.
  • We need to trust that God has got it, and He loves and cares for others far more than we ever could.

This might be another whole topic, but we also need to learn more about the contentment that God promises; being content in who we are in Christ, not what we do, as we step towards His will to do, and to not do.


Jon Mark Davis lives in the London Ontario area, is married with 4 children, and spent much of his formative years in Singapore as a son of OMF missionaries. He is a brother through marriage to Mike Fietje (Interim National Director of MORE Network). Jon Mark is a Financial Planner with Primerica Financial Services.



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Did you miss our past blogs? Check them out below!

 

5 Ways to Pray for MORE Network in 2024

At the MORE Network, the key verse we’ve chosen for 2024 is Exodus 33:14: “The Lord replied, “My Presence will go with you, and I will give you rest.” Exodus 33:14 (NIV)

Prior to this verse, God had told Moses to lead the Israelites to a land flowing with milk and honey but that He would not go with them. In response Moses says in verse 15, “If your presence will not go with me, do not bring us up from here.”

Just as Moses did not want to go forward without God, neither do we in the MORE Network. Not only do we want God to direct us in the way we should go in 2024, but we also want His presence to go with us.

Here are 5 Areas of Prayer for the MORE Network in 2024! 

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Lament of a Returning Missionary

Loosely based on Psalm 13, here is a prayer of lament of a returning missionary. 

How long, Lord, will I miss our former HOME where I sobbed in frustration and prayed, pounding on heaven’s door to learn language(s) & culture, and how to buy food and learn to survive, let alone thrive? ...

 

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While there, I had the honour of hearing the stories of missionaries who have worked in the overseas ministry context for many years. And boy, did I feel inadequate for the task as some of them had faithfully served a lifetime, having much more cross-cultural experience than I have and the wisdom that accompanies such incredible life experiences.

But what struck me the most and motivated me all the more to listen, was that many of these seasoned missionaries never had the opportunity to actually share their full stories with anyone – that is their deeply personal and valuable stories, the good, the bad and the ugly. And that’s really a reflection and a limitation of our modern missionary movement; missionaries often feel obligated to share only the positive experiences and their successes, lest they be judged or misunderstood, or worse, lose vital financial or personal support...

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There is something so beautiful about the quick bonds that form between MKs (Missionary Kids), who understand each other despite having drastically different life experiences. It’s like a breath of fresh air to be surrounded by people who have gone through similar life experiences. It helps you to share on a more honest and intimate level.

Each year, the MORE Network runs Classic ReBoot, a re-entry retreat for missionaries’ kids (MKs) aged 17-20 returning to life in Canada. This is a crucial time in the lives of these young adults, many of whom are not only adjusting to a new culture, but also to new schools, jobs, relationships, and living situations.

In this article, Malik, shares about his own experience at Classic ReBoot, as well as an inside scoop from attendees of the most recent Classic ReBoot!

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This summer, we had the privilege of connecting with Shelly Lyons about her research on Adult Third Culture Kids. Listen in to hear more about the “heart” behind the research and her big picture dreams for how it will be used! 

Adult Third Culture Kids (ATCK) are adults whose lives were shaped by mobility and cross-cultural experiences during their childhood. According to Merriam Webster, a “Third Culture Kid (TCK)” refers to "a child who grows up in a culture different from the one in which his or her parents grew up ... The 'third culture' to which the term refers is the mixed identity that a child assumes, influenced both by their parents' culture and the culture in which they are raised."

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I still remember the moment I heard the words of Mark 8, grasping their significance for the first time. Sitting amongst peers while at university – I was largely preoccupied by ambition and my pursuit of excellence.

I didn’t know a lot back then about what it means to follow Jesus, but I did know Jesus as the Saviour who pulls little children closer, drowning out harshness with His greatness. His hands had sheltered my heart throughout my youth and brought along gifts of companionship, discipleship, and understanding. I felt cherished by Jesus and it was his inordinate compassion towards me that kept me tethered to Him. 

Deny - the word sprang out at me, convicting and exposing me. 

What did that mean? 

I was well positioned to pursue the American Dream and succeed at it, and denying myself in any way was not really part of the plan. So tangibly struck, I fumbled to respond to those words within our group, finally landing on, “I don’t think I’m doing that”. 

“For whoever wants to save their life will lose it, but whoever loses their life for me and for the gospel will save it.” -Mark 8:35

Oh boy, somehow denying myself was connected to losing my life and that was not anywhere on my to-do list. I was on track for a comfortable life, full of all the perks of a first-world society, with no regard for the reality that no one avoids suffering anyway...

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At the MORE Network, the key verse we’ve chosen for 2024 is Exodus 33:14: “The Lord replied, “My Presence will go with you, and I will give you rest.” Exodus 33:14 (NIV) Prior to this verse, God had told Moses to l...
Read more...
Lament of a Returning Missionary
Loosely based on Psalm 13, here is a prayer of lament of a returning missionary.  How long, Lord, will I miss our former HOME where I sobbed in frustration and prayed, pounding on heaven’s door to learn language(s...
Read more...
Christmas Memories from Around the World
Watermelon, Handprints and Fireworks ... What do they all have in common? They are all elements of favourite Christmas memories and traditions from our MORE Network staff, from around the world! 
Read more...
Deeply Rooted
We invite you to join us during this season of generosity so that, together, we can give Missionary Kids and their families the opportunities to experience a richer soil in Christ and broader branches in community. 
Read more...
The Eternal Benefits of Debriefing
I recently returned from RE-VIEW, a week-long family debriefing retreat, where I served as an adult facilitator and debriefer. While there, I had the honour of hearing the stories of missionaries who have worked in...
Read more...
Bonds Beyond Borders: The Impact of ReBoot on MKs
There is something so beautiful about the quick bonds that form between MKs (Missionary Kids), who understand each other despite having drastically different life experiences. It’s like a breath of fresh air to be surro...
Read more...
Adult Third Culture Kid Research: The Heart Behind the Research
This summer, we had the privilege of connecting with Shelly Lyons about her research on Adult Third Culture Kids. Listen in to hear more about the “heart” behind the research and her big picture dreams for how it will b...
Read more...
Is Competition a Biblical Value?
One Sunday morning in the church where I pastored, a family came to me and shared how some of their friends had left our church to go to another church: a "competitor church". They were completely distracted by their ne...
Read more...
Deny Yourself: My Story of Self-Denial & Abundant Life
“Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross and follow me.” -Mark 8:34 I still remember the moment I heard the words of Mark 8, grasping their significance for the first time. Si...
Read more...
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Building relationships is the first and foremost thing we should be about - everything else comes out of relationships. Building relationships with people from other cultures is so important, as humor; lifestyle; values...
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