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ByMalik Dieleman on Tuesday, October 10, 2023

Bonds Beyond Borders: The Impact of ReBoot on MKs

Malik Dieleman By Malik Dieleman on Tuesday, October 10, 2023

 

Each year, the MORE Network runs Classic ReBoot, a re-entry retreat for missionaries’ kids (MKs) aged 17-20 returning to life in Canada. This is a crucial time in the lives of these young adults, many of whom are not only adjusting to a new culture, but also to new schools, jobs, relationships, and living situations.

Since its inception in 2013, ReBoot has been held in both Alberta and Ontario, organized by the MORE Network—a collaborative of Canada-wide organizations supporting missionaries in cross-cultural transition. Most of the staff are missionaries’ kids themselves. They lead sessions on Canadian culture, MK identity, transition, grief and loss, sexuality, mental health, employment and finances, to name a few.

This year, fun activities included a trip to Niagara Falls and ropes course, a movie night, outdoor sports, an off campus ‘Amazing Race’ game in downtown Toronto, group games, and a talent show!

Seven years ago, I attended ReBoot myself, having just moved from Senegal, where my parents were serving. I returned as a staff member again this year, helping lead activities and small group discussions, taking photos/videos, and, most importantly, connecting with the participants. Coming back to ReBoot over the years has helped me to step back and see how much I have learned and experienced since first attending. And, somehow, I always take away new life lessons.

There is something so beautiful about the quick bonds that form between MKs, who understand each other despite having drastically different life experiences. It’s like a breath of fresh air to be surrounded by people who have gone through similar life experiences. It helps you to share on a more honest and intimate level. By the end of the week, the MKs and staff have created deep friendships and have become more comfortable in their transition journey.

One of my favourite memories from this year, was a song made for the talent show night. Using the lyrics of ChaptGPT and the musical talent of fellow staff members, a performance of “The TCK Anthem” was born. The chorus of this song ended with the words “side by side” which quickly became a repeated slogan for the rest of the retreat - the MKs singing those words back and forth.

ReBoot has been one of the greatest highlights of each year I’m involved. But don’t take my word for it. Here are some quotes from participants of our latest retreat:

What was the best thing about ReBoot?

“It was so nice to be around people who understand.” -Jemma

“Time to take apart piece by piece, what is transition, how to deal with it, and what to use from it in the future.” -anonymous

“Making new friends! All of the memories I've made here are gonna stick with me for a long long time. The tight little community we've formed this week was such a huge blessing.” -anonymous

“Meeting people and making connections with MKs across the world who have been through the same experiences as me.” -anonymous

“Gaining a community of people unlike any other I've ever other experienced.” -Jacob

What class session was most helpful to you?

“The session on grief was helpful to let go of some emotions that were heavy on my heart and shoulders.” -anonymous

“The transitions one was really good.” -Seth

“I liked the loss session and the mental health ones.” -anonymous

“Honestly, I really appreciated the sex sessions. It's a subject that needs to be discussed!! I feel more prepared now for entering into future relationships and honoring God.” -anonymous

“I appreciated hearing some of the life stories and testimonies. They helped more than you know.” -anonymous

What would you say to a younger MK considering going to ReBoot?

“[It was a] lot of fun, you’ll meet cool people.” -Moriah

“That it is a long week and very packed, but it is worth it to get all the important lessons.” -Winnie

“You should really go. It’s a great experience and you’ll learn so much.” -Carson

“Gooooo you need to go.” -Isaac

“Definitely go! It’s a great experience and gives you great tools!” -anonymous

“Definitely recommend no matter how long ago you moved here. I thought I was fully transitioned before I came to ReBoot and I didn’t realize how much I needed it.” -anonymous

“It was a wonderful experience where I learned how to transition back into my passport culture. I also met many amazing people who have gone through similar experiences. There are others out there like you.” -anonymous

“Go, even if you don’t think you need to, you will find something useful. At the very least you make good friends.” -Seth

“Heck yeah dude! Go! Go! Go!” – Jacob

“It’s amazing” – Elise


Malik Dieleman is TCK (Third Culture Kid) who grew up in Marseille, France; London, Ontario; and Dakar, Senegal. Now he lives in Toronto! Malik first attended ReBoot back in 2016, when he was introduced to MORE Network, and has since been involved in ReBoot as a staff member. Malik works as the Digital Content Designer for MORE Network. Malik is an artist at heart and studied Photography at OCAD University. Outside of his freelance work, he loves cooking, playing volleyball, and watching reality TV.



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Did you miss our past blogs? Check them out below!

 

Deeply Rooted

We invite you to join us during this season of generosity so that, together, we can give Missionary Kids and their families the opportunities to experience a richer soil in Christ and broader branches in community. 

Read more...

The Eternal Benefits of Debriefing

I recently returned from RE-VIEW, a week-long family debriefing retreat, where I served as an adult facilitator and debriefer.

While there, I had the honour of hearing the stories of missionaries who have worked in the overseas ministry context for many years. And boy, did I feel inadequate for the task as some of them had faithfully served a lifetime, having much more cross-cultural experience than I have and the wisdom that accompanies such incredible life experiences.

But what struck me the most and motivated me all the more to listen, was that many of these seasoned missionaries never had the opportunity to actually share their full stories with anyone – that is their deeply personal and valuable stories, the good, the bad and the ugly. And that’s really a reflection and a limitation of our modern missionary movement; missionaries often feel obligated to share only the positive experiences and their successes, lest they be judged or misunderstood, or worse, lose vital financial or personal support...

Read more...

Bonds Beyond Borders: The Impact of ReBoot on MKs

There is something so beautiful about the quick bonds that form between MKs (Missionary Kids), who understand each other despite having drastically different life experiences. It’s like a breath of fresh air to be surrounded by people who have gone through similar life experiences. It helps you to share on a more honest and intimate level.

Each year, the MORE Network runs Classic ReBoot, a re-entry retreat for missionaries’ kids (MKs) aged 17-20 returning to life in Canada. This is a crucial time in the lives of these young adults, many of whom are not only adjusting to a new culture, but also to new schools, jobs, relationships, and living situations.

In this article, Malik, shares about his own experience at Classic ReBoot, as well as an inside scoop from attendees of the most recent Classic ReBoot!

Read more...

Adult Third Culture Kid Research: The Heart Behind the Research

This summer, we had the privilege of connecting with Shelly Lyons about her research on Adult Third Culture Kids. Listen in to hear more about the “heart” behind the research and her big picture dreams for how it will be used! 

Adult Third Culture Kids (ATCK) are adults whose lives were shaped by mobility and cross-cultural experiences during their childhood. According to Merriam Webster, a “Third Culture Kid (TCK)” refers to "a child who grows up in a culture different from the one in which his or her parents grew up ... The 'third culture' to which the term refers is the mixed identity that a child assumes, influenced both by their parents' culture and the culture in which they are raised."

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One Sunday morning in the church where I pastored, a family came to me and shared how some of their friends had left our church to go to another church: a "competitor church". They were completely distracted by their news. Does the Bible encourage us to compete with fellow believers? Is there such a thing as a competitor church?

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Deny Yourself: My Story of Self-Denial & Abundant Life

“Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross and follow me.” -Mark 8:34

I still remember the moment I heard the words of Mark 8, grasping their significance for the first time. Sitting amongst peers while at university – I was largely preoccupied by ambition and my pursuit of excellence.

I didn’t know a lot back then about what it means to follow Jesus, but I did know Jesus as the Saviour who pulls little children closer, drowning out harshness with His greatness. His hands had sheltered my heart throughout my youth and brought along gifts of companionship, discipleship, and understanding. I felt cherished by Jesus and it was his inordinate compassion towards me that kept me tethered to Him. 

Deny - the word sprang out at me, convicting and exposing me. 

What did that mean? 

I was well positioned to pursue the American Dream and succeed at it, and denying myself in any way was not really part of the plan. So tangibly struck, I fumbled to respond to those words within our group, finally landing on, “I don’t think I’m doing that”. 

“For whoever wants to save their life will lose it, but whoever loses their life for me and for the gospel will save it.” -Mark 8:35

Oh boy, somehow denying myself was connected to losing my life and that was not anywhere on my to-do list. I was on track for a comfortable life, full of all the perks of a first-world society, with no regard for the reality that no one avoids suffering anyway...

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Ministry at the Speed of Relationships

Building relationships is the first and foremost thing we should be about - everything else comes out of relationships. Building relationships with people from other cultures is so important, as humor; lifestyle; values; and beliefs are so different to ours, and don’t translate well. Living next to, and working with other nationalities, requires relationship.

Jesus taught us that building relationships is the greatest and most important thing we do - no strings attached.

So, how do we build Christ-honoring relationships in our life & ministry? In this article, Paul draws on wisdom from the Bible, underscoring the importance of humility, forgiveness, trust, and genuine care in developing deep and meaningful relationships. And he challenges us, first and foremost, to approach ministry (and life) at the "speed of relationships!"

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The Bittersweet of Travelling as an Adult TCK

Over the last year, I took more flights than I ever have within a single year. I’ve had more time to be in these liminal spaces than ever before. As an adult TCK (Third Culture Kid), this has invited me to reflect more deeply on why I am where I am in the world, and how that continues to shape my identity. In these spaces I momentarily re-enter into the journey of transition and grief.

In this article, Malik shares about his recent travels, and offers advice on how to process complex feelings while traveling and staying connected to multiple cultures.

 

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Risk-taking in the Canadian Wilderness

What first came to mind when I was invited to the “Canadian wilderness” to help lead a Wilderness Camp for adult third culture kids (ATCKs) this past July was the book Hatchet by Gary Paulsen.  

All spring I relished these thoughts: an adventure of “humans against the elements” with a group of young adult TCKs and ATCK co-leaders who “got it.” Overcoming challenges together is a great way to bond quickly, and with other ATCKs, I knew those bonds could form quickly in the right setting. Having grown up in the mountains of Vermont and in the highlands of Kenya, hiking, camping, paddling, and climbing in wild places is revitalizing to me. 

We were headed into all the key elements of adventure: horseback riding, rock climbing, kayaking, and hiking in the mountains where elk, moose, and grizzly bears roamed, living in tents that had just been resurrected after a literal crushing storm. In between, we would split wood and help with cooking, and immerse ourselves in outdoor life—axe throwing and bonfires, outhouses (let’s be real) and camp cooking, fast changing weather, and the sweetest air you could imagine. For me, that kind of life isn’t about a contest so much as it is about finding harmony with elements that can give wonderful gifts and can also kill you. Risk in its essence...

Read more...

Deeply Rooted
We invite you to join us during this season of generosity so that, together, we can give Missionary Kids and their families the opportunities to experience a richer soil in Christ and broader branches in community. 
Read more...
The Eternal Benefits of Debriefing
I recently returned from RE-VIEW, a week-long family debriefing retreat, where I served as an adult facilitator and debriefer. While there, I had the honour of hearing the stories of missionaries who have worked in...
Read more...
Bonds Beyond Borders: The Impact of ReBoot on MKs
There is something so beautiful about the quick bonds that form between MKs (Missionary Kids), who understand each other despite having drastically different life experiences. It’s like a breath of fresh air to be surro...
Read more...
Adult Third Culture Kid Research: The Heart Behind the Research
This summer, we had the privilege of connecting with Shelly Lyons about her research on Adult Third Culture Kids. Listen in to hear more about the “heart” behind the research and her big picture dreams for how it will b...
Read more...
Is Competition a Biblical Value?
One Sunday morning in the church where I pastored, a family came to me and shared how some of their friends had left our church to go to another church: a "competitor church". They were completely distracted by their ne...
Read more...
Deny Yourself: My Story of Self-Denial & Abundant Life
“Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross and follow me.” -Mark 8:34 I still remember the moment I heard the words of Mark 8, grasping their significance for the first time. Si...
Read more...
Ministry at the Speed of Relationships
Building relationships is the first and foremost thing we should be about - everything else comes out of relationships. Building relationships with people from other cultures is so important, as humor; lifestyle; values...
Read more...
The Bittersweet of Travelling as an Adult TCK
Over the last year, I took more flights than I ever have within a single year. I’ve had more time to be in these liminal spaces than ever before. As an adult TCK (Third Culture Kid), this has invited me to reflect more ...
Read more...
Risk-taking in the Canadian Wilderness
What first came to mind when I was invited to the “Canadian wilderness” to help lead a Wilderness Camp for adult third culture kids (ATCKs) this past July was the book  Hatchet  by Gary Paulsen.   All spring I reli...
Read more...
Wilderness ReBoot: What to Expect
Designed for adult MKs (Missionary Kids) seeking a deep encounter with God amidst the beauty of the Canadian back country wilderness, Wilderness ReBoot is a co-ed retreat for MKs (Missionary Kids) ages 21-35 willing to ...
Read more...