Transitioning from a cross-cultural assignment is a process that takes time and is best achieved with the support of trained, and experienced personnel. No need to undertake this journey alone. Let us help connect you with others who can walk alongside you, providing safety and nurturing along the way.

 

MORE NETWORK BLOG

Thank you for visiting us! Please find our latest blog right below and the rest of them at the bottom of the page, organized chronologically. Enjoy!

 

ByMalik Dieleman on Tuesday, May 9, 2023

The Bittersweet of Travelling as an Adult TCK

Malik Dieleman By Malik Dieleman on Tuesday, May 9, 2023

When I was 17, I returned to Canada and attended ReBoot, a re-entry retreat for Missionaries’ Kids (MKs). One lesson that stuck with me from that retreat is learning that our processes of transition and grief are not linear. Rather than a smooth line from point A to point B, our journeys of growth are overlapping squiggles that form what looks to be a messy plate of spaghetti. Though I am coming onto 7 years of being back in Canada, I still experience moments of being profoundly unsettled, and I am reminded that I am still amidst the process of transition and grief. Many of these moments occur when I travel, where I am given the opportunity to once again be in a space of limbo.

Dwelling in the in-between presents both comforts and challenges for Third Culture Kids (TCKs). On one hand, the familiarity we have with these spaces can be quite comforting. Sitting at an airport gate and overhearing unfamiliar languages, the international jumble starts to feel like somewhere I belong. In this place, I am not expected to fit into any cultural archetype. Yet on the other hand, as I look down at the CANADA on my passport, I wonder if it feels right yet. There’s a discomfort in not feeling truly like the citizen of any one country.

Image by Malik Dieleman

Growing up, I was so accustomed to my parents’ ministry determining what continent I would find myself in on any given month. As a big boy now, who must make his own decisions, I’m finding my relationship to travel to be evolving. This freedom to choose when and where I’m travelling has taken some getting used to.

Over the last year, I took more flights than I ever have within a single year. I’ve had more time to be in these liminal spaces than ever before. This has invited me to reflect more deeply on why I am where I am in the world, and how that continues to shape my identity. In these spaces I momentarily re-enter into the journey of transition and grief.

Image by Malik Dieleman

Never Nowhere

Last month, I had the privilege of taking a trip to visit some relatives living in San José, Costa Rica. Throughout my time there, I was reminded of countries I use to call home. I discovered that there are many things I had no idea I was missing so much while in Canada. Delicious fruit, sandy roads, warm weather, bright flowers, architectural designs, distinct cultural values … ­so many things took me back to childhood memories. I found myself seeing France and Senegal in the sights, sounds, and smells. And while my ethnicity and beginner-level language skills made me stick out as an obvious foreigner – these familiarities kept me from feeling quite like a tourist exploring an exotic land.

During one visit to a national park, there were loads of tourists following local guides who pointed out wildlife. Something about seeing these large numbers of tourists put me off – I so desperately did not want to be associated with them. The label of tourist for me reeks of cultural faux-pas, classism (sometimes arguably outright racism), and the need to overspend to enjoy oneself. Being a travelling MK/TCK can isolate you even from other travellers. If you belong nowhere and everywhere, how can you truly ever be a tourist?

Returning to Canada after this Costa Rica trip hit different. As the plane took off, tears welled up in my eyes. And no, I wasn’t emotional about returning to Canadian weather in February (although this certainly didn’t help). I was overwhelmed by the mixture of emotions that arose at once - the joys of having experienced so much new beauty and old familiarity, and the sadness of returning to a place where neither of those exist quite the same.

Image by Malik Dieleman

The past 6+ years in Canada have been the longest I’ve resided in one place at a time. I have established slow-growing roots and relationships that are now growing deeper and stronger each day. I’ve even started to have those dreaded thoughts that this may be the place I stay forever. But taking a trip like this one and stepping away from my day-to-day life, I realize there are still things that keep me from feeling like I’m quite at home here. I realize there are still parts of me that remain across an ocean. Perhaps there are still aspects of my childhood transitions that require some grieving.

Some Advice for the Travelling TCK

While travelling can bring things to the surface like memories of growing up years, it can also be a form of escapism. Travelling as a TCK can unintentionally be an unhealthy way to temporarily run away from whatever troubles we are facing. It can be tempting to blame our problems on the place we’re in. And travelling does scratch the itch to just ‘get away’. But, if there’s something I’ve learned about the many trips I took last year, it’s that troubles have no borders. We can say the grass is greener all we like, but every place has its weeds. It is possible to continue loving all the places you’ve called home.

Although it can be tempting to ignore our emotions, don’t be afraid to lean into them for a time. When you’re in those times of travel, of limbo, make time to process what feelings come up. Perhaps journaling or creating an art piece would help. For me, taking photos throughout my travels helps me take in my surroundings and capture some of the things I’m feeling.

When you’re back at home, it’s worth it to pay the extra money to get snacks from that international food store. It’s worth the time to keep reading and practicing using your second or third language. It’s worth the effort to stay up to date with the news from other parts of the world. Taking hold of the things you still can from your past homes doesn’t mean you aren’t transitioning well. In fact, the more you can make the routines of your life reflect your blended identity, the greater your transition will be, and the more authentic you will be to yourself.

Image by Malik Dieleman

For the TCK, there may never be a place in the world that feels just right. For me, this keeps me focused on the promised Kingdom, where I will one day experience a belonging like no other. In unity with my Creator, I will finally be at home. Until then, I focus on the land where I now stand and the glimpse of the road ahead.


Malik Dieleman is TCK (Third Culture Kid) who grew up in Marseille, France; London, Ontario; and Dakar, Senegal. Now he lives in Toronto! Malik first attended ReBoot back in 2016, when he was introduced to MORE Network, and has since been involved in ReBoot as a staff member. Malik works as the Digital Content Designer for MORE Network. Malik is an artist at heart and studied Photography at OCAD University. Outside of his freelance work, he loves cooking, playing volleyball, and watching reality TV.

 

 

 

 

 



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Did you miss our past blogs? Check them out below!

 

Deny Yourself: My Story of Self-Denial & Abundant Life

“Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross and follow me.” -Mark 8:34

I still remember the moment I heard the words of Mark 8, grasping their significance for the first time. Sitting amongst peers while at university – I was largely preoccupied by ambition and my pursuit of excellence.

I didn’t know a lot back then about what it means to follow Jesus, but I did know Jesus as the Saviour who pulls little children closer, drowning out harshness with His greatness. His hands had sheltered my heart throughout my youth and brought along gifts of companionship, discipleship, and understanding. I felt cherished by Jesus and it was his inordinate compassion towards me that kept me tethered to Him. 

Deny - the word sprang out at me, convicting and exposing me. 

What did that mean? 

I was well positioned to pursue the American Dream and succeed at it, and denying myself in any way was not really part of the plan. So tangibly struck, I fumbled to respond to those words within our group, finally landing on, “I don’t think I’m doing that”. 

“For whoever wants to save their life will lose it, but whoever loses their life for me and for the gospel will save it.” -Mark 8:35

Oh boy, somehow denying myself was connected to losing my life and that was not anywhere on my to-do list. I was on track for a comfortable life, full of all the perks of a first-world society, with no regard for the reality that no one avoids suffering anyway...

Read more...

Ministry at the Speed of Relationships

Building relationships is the first and foremost thing we should be about - everything else comes out of relationships. Building relationships with people from other cultures is so important, as humor; lifestyle; values; and beliefs are so different to ours, and don’t translate well. Living next to, and working with other nationalities, requires relationship.

Jesus taught us that building relationships is the greatest and most important thing we do - no strings attached.

So, how do we build Christ-honoring relationships in our life & ministry? In this article, Paul draws on wisdom from the Bible, underscoring the importance of humility, forgiveness, trust, and genuine care in developing deep and meaningful relationships. And he challenges us, first and foremost, to approach ministry (and life) at the "speed of relationships!"

Read more...

The Bittersweet of Travelling as an Adult TCK

Over the last year, I took more flights than I ever have within a single year. I’ve had more time to be in these liminal spaces than ever before. As an adult TCK (Third Culture Kid), this has invited me to reflect more deeply on why I am where I am in the world, and how that continues to shape my identity. In these spaces I momentarily re-enter into the journey of transition and grief.

In this article, Malik shares about his recent travels, and offers advice on how to process complex feelings while traveling and staying connected to multiple cultures.

 

Read more...

Risk-taking in the Canadian Wilderness

What first came to mind when I was invited to the “Canadian wilderness” to help lead a Wilderness Camp for adult third culture kids (ATCKs) this past July was the book Hatchet by Gary Paulsen.  

All spring I relished these thoughts: an adventure of “humans against the elements” with a group of young adult TCKs and ATCK co-leaders who “got it.” Overcoming challenges together is a great way to bond quickly, and with other ATCKs, I knew those bonds could form quickly in the right setting. Having grown up in the mountains of Vermont and in the highlands of Kenya, hiking, camping, paddling, and climbing in wild places is revitalizing to me. 

We were headed into all the key elements of adventure: horseback riding, rock climbing, kayaking, and hiking in the mountains where elk, moose, and grizzly bears roamed, living in tents that had just been resurrected after a literal crushing storm. In between, we would split wood and help with cooking, and immerse ourselves in outdoor life—axe throwing and bonfires, outhouses (let’s be real) and camp cooking, fast changing weather, and the sweetest air you could imagine. For me, that kind of life isn’t about a contest so much as it is about finding harmony with elements that can give wonderful gifts and can also kill you. Risk in its essence...

Read more...

Wilderness ReBoot: What to Expect

Designed for adult MKs (Missionary Kids) seeking a deep encounter with God amidst the beauty of the Canadian back country wilderness, Wilderness ReBoot is a co-ed retreat for MKs (Missionary Kids) ages 21-35 willing to be challenged physically and spiritually, while deepening their relationship with God by seeking His direction in their lives. 

Benjamin Reed, the Program Director for Wilderness ReBoot shares the purpose behind the retreat and a behind-the-scenes look at what you can expect. 

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Updates & Reflections from My Trip to India

Paul shares stories, updates and reflections from his recent trip to India. God is at work!

Read more...

Wilderness ReBoot: Solitude, Community & Mission

Ben shares about how his love for the wilderness first started, and gives insight into what adult MKs (Missionary Kids) can expect at Wilderness ReBoot. 

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The Busyness of an MK (Missionary Kid)

I love airports.

The hustle and bustle. People of every nationality streaming past me. The endless possibilities of flights to every corner of the world.

As an adult now, I can admit that in trying to get my family from one country to another, an airport can be a stressful place; endless lines, tight timelines, lost luggage, too much opportunity for things to go wrong.

But, as a Third-Culture Kid (TCK), and specifically a Missionary Kid (MK), the airport glitters like a yellow-brick road into the unknown, and it excites me, especially that hustle and bustle, that busyness of international travel.

Airports are synonymous with the word “busy”. This word, busy, seems also to be the first word used by people to describe life where I now live, Southwestern Ontario. If you have a casual conversation with just about anyone older than 20, they describe life as busy. Life is busy ... but why? I can’t speak about your particular situation, but I can tell you about my situation: there are just so many things to do. Good things. Important things. 

How do you figure out what God is specifically calling you to do when there are so many ‘good’ things that need someone to do them?

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Adult Third Culture Kid Research

One of the main reasons I decided to pursue doctoral studies was to conduct research. Not just any research, but "Adult Third Culture Kid" (ATCK) research. For many years, I worked with children, teens, and adults from various mission agencies, preparing them for international ministry and helping them transition back to Canada.

As I listened to their stories of joy and heartbreak, accomplishments and struggles, I realized that there is so much more that we, as caregivers and organizations, can learn from these international workers and their families to contribute to their transition and healing. In particular, we need to find new ways to help them help themselves, long after the end of the transition retreats and workshops we offer.

The question I am exploring for my research is “How can spiritual self-leadership encourage identity development and sense of belonging in ATCKs in order for them to fully realize their potential and value contribution in the workplace?”

Read more...

Deny Yourself: My Story of Self-Denial & Abundant Life
“Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross and follow me.” -Mark 8:34 I still remember the moment I heard the words of Mark 8, grasping their significance for the first time. Si...
Read more...
Ministry at the Speed of Relationships
Building relationships is the first and foremost thing we should be about - everything else comes out of relationships. Building relationships with people from other cultures is so important, as humor; lifestyle; values...
Read more...
The Bittersweet of Travelling as an Adult TCK
Over the last year, I took more flights than I ever have within a single year. I’ve had more time to be in these liminal spaces than ever before. As an adult TCK (Third Culture Kid), this has invited me to reflect more ...
Read more...
Risk-taking in the Canadian Wilderness
What first came to mind when I was invited to the “Canadian wilderness” to help lead a Wilderness Camp for adult third culture kids (ATCKs) this past July was the book  Hatchet  by Gary Paulsen.   All spring I reli...
Read more...
Wilderness ReBoot: What to Expect
Designed for adult MKs (Missionary Kids) seeking a deep encounter with God amidst the beauty of the Canadian back country wilderness, Wilderness ReBoot is a co-ed retreat for MKs (Missionary Kids) ages 21-35 willing to ...
Read more...
Updates & Reflections from My Trip to India
Paul shares stories, updates and reflections from his recent trip to India. God is at work!
Read more...
Wilderness ReBoot: Solitude, Community & Mission
Ben shares about how his love for the wilderness first started, and gives insight into what adult MKs (Missionary Kids) can expect at Wilderness ReBoot. 
Read more...
The Busyness of an MK (Missionary Kid)
I love airports. The hustle and bustle. People of every nationality streaming past me. The endless possibilities of flights to every corner of the world. As an adult now, I can admit that in trying to get my f...
Read more...
Adult Third Culture Kid Research
One of the main reasons I decided to pursue doctoral studies was to conduct research. Not just any research, but "Adult Third Culture Kid" (ATCK) research. For many years, I worked with children, teens, and adults from ...
Read more...
6 Gospel Truths for TCKs
Ethan, an adult Missionary Kid, shares 6 gospel truths for Missionary Kids & Third Culture Kids ... "While there are many positive things about growing up as Missionary Kids, we face unique challenges and personal ...
Read more...